I’ve re-written this post a million times, and I am still not satisfied whatsoever with what I’ve come up with. But the conclusion I’ve come to is that I’m a boring flake. I don’t answer texts or voice messages, unless you’re a medical professional or you’re offering me a paid internship. I feel like such a bitch because people keep asking me to hang out, but my availability is so limited that it’s difficult for me to schedule things.
For example, I was supposed to go to the mall with my friends tomorrow, but I realized a few days ago that my cousin’s wedding was the same day. And honestly, free food trumps spending money at the mall. I already RSVP’d so I wasn’t going to blow off her wedding, even though we aren’t close by any means. I really wanted to go to another cousin’s wedding, but it’s in Seattle. My parents aren’t going, so it would just be awkward all around.
Now that I have two group projects under my belt, it’s going to be even more impossible to get a hold of me. I’m unavailable Tuesdays and Thursdays. Mondays and Fridays I’m free after 5:00 pm, and the weekends are tricky. I’m usually doing homework or cleaning or catching up on whatever I have to do. Plus, I hate leaving my cat in the apartment since I’m gone eight hours a day or more. I don’t want her to get lonely.
Classes and work take up most of my time, while therapy takes up the equivalent of a three-credit course and then some. Plus, I have a night class on Thursdays, so I’m working 7 hours that day then off for another 3.5 hours for class. I can’t skip work because I have to eat and pay rent. I’ve already skipped class way too much. And I’m not skipping therapy.
But in better news, I had an interview for a paid internship a week ago. A lot of my friends in my major also applied for that internship, so competition is fierce. I should be hearing back from them by today or the very latest by next week. I also bought a new laptop because my old one … sucks. I just got it last night! It’s all very exciting.
But I’m still struggling with taking care of myself and finding the motivation to do things. I may be getting a light therapy box because my psychiatrist and I noticed that I become more depressed when it’s cloudy or rainy. Speaking of the weather though, it’s been 80+ degrees F every day this week. It’s October. Ugh… I hate hot weather, and every room I go to on campus is air conditioned so I freeze to death in those classes.
I’m off to slave away at class and work. Those books won’t move themselves unfortunately.