I like comparing myself to who I was a year ago, two years ago, etc. This particular day has a lot of significance for me.
- A year ago today, I checked myself into the behavioral health ward, and didn’t leave until the 15th.
- Three years ago today, my uncle killed himself.
So November 10th, 2008, I had an uncle George, the next day I didn’t. November 10th, 2010 I finally got myself real help. For some reason significant life events that don’t pertain to school happen to me in November. My uncle dying, the worse instances of my depression, my grandfather dying, having to withdraw from a class because I would have failed it otherwise, break-ups, fights, a whole manner of personal stuff I would rather not deal with.
Yet, here I am a completely different person. Okay, maybe not completely, but if you told me that I would be six months away from graduating from college, in a happy, stable relationship and living with my boyfriend, I would’ve just stared blankly at you. Sometimes though, I do miss the emotional pain and anguish I went through all of those years. I know it’s stupid, but I find that tears are comforting. I don’t cry as often as I used to, and it disturbs me a little.
Anyway, I also have a little ranting to do.
“I don’t find myself attracted to my SO anymore, but I don’t want to hurt him/her.” You are not doing you SO a favor by staying with them, even though you don’t want to be. Breaking up sucks. It sucks to be both on the giving and receiving end. There is no way to make it suck less except be clear, honest, and quick.
75% of problems in relationships can be resolved with talking to each other. What a novel idea.